Highway to Holiness: ETA - Never. aka, the longest roadtrip ever.

long time.

i've been out of touch with many dear friends for a while. and it's starting to get to me.

though i'm excited to start grad school, i worry that, by the end of the two years, i will have completely lost touch with those i want to spend time with.

i'm starting to realize that, despite my intentions, i am not as intentional as i think i am. somehow my thoughts rarely get past my skull. whether it's a thought to send an encouraging message or to confront a specific issue or person, i end up putting off well-meaning thoughts for "tomorrow". somehow my head and my heart don't fully connect when things get beyond a certain point.

i was describing it to a friend in this way. i wake up in the morning with a mindset that is, from my relative perspective, neutral, which is probably somewhat optimistic considering all other perspectives. as the day progresses, i continually become more optimistic, positive, idealistic almost, until, by the end of the day, i lie in bed and undoubtedly find myself at a near insomnia considering what i can do to break barriers, shake up the "routine"ness of life, and generally live that next day with a specific purpose and intensity. only to wake up and 'lose', in a sense, all the momentum i'd felt the day prior.

even now, the list of forgotten tasks to spur on my brothers and sisters remains undone even as Today is fading.

which is why, as i heard James 4:17 read a couple days ago, I was silently crushed by the conviction that does not condemn without a hope for grace...

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

that's the Refiner's fire for ya, burning away the tendency to forget those not so little sins of omission.

bottom line: the path towards holiness never is neither comfortable nor easy. it requires a wholesome commitment to an uncomfortable life of sacrifice. though the journey itself brings us closer to God, we never reach the finish line. each step closer to the unreacheable finish line is more difficult than the last. we continue not because we have something to bring God, but because there is nothing God needs, not even us. we were created in His image and commissioned to reflect His likeness.